To a teenage daughter I never had

iva-writers-table

don’t be afraid to cry
for the life you never had
for the years of joy or
agony
as they weaved a tapestry
in your soul
all the intricate moments
that sometimes come to you
in fragments and
other times they sweep you
like a river of memories
good and bad
all mixed up

that is
they would come
had my life been different
but I never bore you below
my breast
you never nested
in the middle of my being
the man who could have
been your father
is unknown to me
perhaps we never even met

if I ever am a mother
and you are born
you will never know me
as I am now
still somewhat young
struggling through life
loving and breathing
even when love is scarce
and breath costs more than
blood ridden gold from
an African goldmine

what comforts me the most:
you will not know
wars that are plaguing the earth
at this time,
there will be new ones
people never learn
but I hope at least
the war that is sometimes
raging in my soul
will be gone
before you are born

© Iva Beranek (Dublin, 20th January 2017)
Photo by © Iva Beranek

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