“Our only guide is our homesickness” (Herman Hesse)

gentle - april flowers 124

It’s been a while since I wrote something here. And yet thoughts flow regularly in my mind, whether they are expressed or not, creativity hardly ever ceases. I was walking in town today and I saw a nice red flower on the ground; it fell from the bush that was its home for a while. At first I let it imprint its beauty into my memory, but I walked by. Some time after I was passing near that same place again, the flower even though it was still lying unnoticed on the ground, was full of delight and so I took it.

Did you ever observe a flower in your hands? Its texture, colour, shape, how it bends beneath your touch, as if it knows it is noticed, admired, perhaps even loved. This one that I picked was a beautiful deep red, it went well with my coat as I held it in my hand, and it matched my shoes, for they too were red. Flowers, at least to me, communicate a gift of appreciating life; their beauty speaks of that. Yet flowers don’t only grow in the gardens of the world, they grow in our souls too.

Now, now, don’t be too imaginative in your reflections, you may tell me, but think about it. When you are inspired with graced moments in a day, a bird chirping, a smile, a surprise by someone you love, unexpected grace that can only come from God, a line from a book you randomly read that got stuck in your mind – each of these do something to your inner being, like a little bud of a new flower that popped up within your soul in your hidden garden, and life seems that much more beautiful, even for a short time. Those are moments of ‘homecoming’.

Eventually, I placed the red flower into my bag and later pressed its petals between the pages of my journal; there it can tell its own story of the life it lived, of beauty and inspiration. As I was flicking through my journal a line by Herman Hesse jumped out at me, “our only guide is our homesickness”. Homesickness. True. When you know what you long for, what directs your desire for life, when you let it emerge deep from within you, then you can follow it like a scent of the most beautiful flower that guides you through life. However, occasionally we can glimpse that this ‘something’ is in fact ‘who‘, and we realise that life that you seek is seeking you – too.

© Iva Beranek (Dublin, 25th June 2014)
Photo by © Iva B.

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